How to Pray When You Don’t Know What to Say

You sit down to pray and nothing comes. Maybe you’re tired, maybe you’re grieving, or maybe it has been so long that the words feel rusty. You wonder if you’re doing it wrong.

You’re not. Almost everyone who has prayed has hit this wall, and the major traditions of prayer have been answering it for a very long time. This article offers several simple ways to begin. None of them is the way, so take what helps and leave the rest.

First, a reassurance: prayer doesn’t need polished words

One of the oldest definitions in Christian tradition is also one of the simplest. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (§2559), quoting John of Damascus, describes prayer as “the raising of one’s mind and heart to God.” Notice what is missing: no formula, no minimum length, no required vocabulary. It is mostly about turning toward God.

The Bible says something similar. In Matthew 6:7–8, Jesus tells his listeners not to pile up empty words, because God already knows what they need. And Paul writes in Romans 8:26 that when we don’t know what to pray for as we ought, the Spirit helps us in our weakness, with “groanings which cannot be uttered” (KJV). On that reading, a wordless sigh can still be a prayer.

So if you’re asking how to pray, you can start by dropping the idea that you need to impress anyone.

1. Start with where you actually are

The most honest way to begin a prayer is to say what is true right now, even if it’s only: “God, I don’t know what to say.”

The Psalms are full of this kind of prayer. Psalm 13 opens with “How long, O Lord?” and Psalm 62:8 invites people to “pour out your heart” before God. These aren’t tidy speeches. They contain confusion, complaint and tiredness, and they still sit at the center of the Bible’s prayer book.

Try it:
– Name your mood in one sentence (“I’m anxious,” “I feel numb,” “I’m grateful but distracted”).
– Add one more sentence if one comes.
– Stop there if nothing else does.

2. Borrow words that are already written

If your own words won’t come, use someone else’s. This isn’t cheating. When a disciple asked Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1), the answer was a set of words to say, now known as the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9–13; Luke 11:2–4).

Ways to borrow words:
– The Lord’s Prayer. Say it slowly, one phrase at a time, and pause after each.
– A Psalm. Read one aloud and let it speak for you. Psalm 23 for comfort, Psalm 130 for when you feel low, Psalm 139 when you feel unseen.
– A short repeated prayer. In the Eastern Christian tradition, the Jesus Prayer is a single line: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” It is repeated quietly, often in rhythm with the breath.

If you want to know how to pray a prayer you didn’t write, this is how: read it slowly, mean it as best you can, and let the words carry you when your own can’t.

3. Try a simple shape if a blank page overwhelms you

Some people find that a loose structure helps. A common one is:

1. Thanks: name one thing you’re grateful for.
2. Sorry: name anything you want to set down or ask forgiveness for.
3. Asking: bring your needs and other people’s needs.
4. Quiet: stay still for a minute and listen.

Many traditions have versions of this, and none of them is required. Treat it as a trellis, not a rulebook. If you only get through the first line, that is a real prayer.

4. Look back over your day

The Examen, associated with Ignatius of Loyola and his Spiritual Exercises, is a short review of the day in God’s presence. You don’t need to produce words from nowhere. You simply recall:

• Where did I notice a gift or a moment of peace today?
• Where was it hard?
• What do I want to carry into tomorrow?

Then say a sentence or two to God about it. It works well in the evening and takes about five minutes.

5. Pray with a text: slow reading

Lectio divina (“divine reading”) comes from the Benedictine monastic tradition and was described in the Middle Ages by Guigo II as moving through reading, meditation, prayer and contemplation. In everyday terms:

1. Read a short passage slowly, even two or three verses.
2. Notice a word or phrase that stands out.
3. Turn it over in your mind and ask what it might mean for you today.
4. Respond to God in whatever words come, or sit in silence.

It’s a good fit if you’re someone who finds it easier to respond to words than to produce them.

6. Sit quietly

Sometimes the right move is to say nothing. Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God” (KJV). Silence is a long-standing form of prayer in its own right, and you can begin gently:

• Set a timer for two or three minutes.
• Breathe slowly and let your thoughts settle.
• If you like, say one word on the exhale, such as “peace” or “here.”

If your mind wanders, which it will, simply return. Wandering isn’t failure; coming back is the practice.

7. Pray as you go

Prayer doesn’t have to happen in a chair. The 17th-century Carmelite Brother Lawrence, in The Practice of the Presence of God, described turning his attention to God in the middle of ordinary kitchen work. You can try a short, simple prayer while walking, washing dishes or commuting: “Thank you,” “Help,” “Be with them,” or just a name.

What if I feel nothing?

Many people who pray regularly describe dry stretches where nothing seems to happen. That doesn’t mean your prayer isn’t “working” or that you’re doing it wrong. Consider keeping it small and steady: a few minutes at the same time each day, using whichever of the approaches above suits that season. Feelings come and go, and a faithful habit can carry you through the quiet times.

If you’re struggling deeply, it can also help to talk with a pastor, priest, chaplain or a trusted friend who prays. You don’t have to work this out alone.

A small place to begin today

If you want something concrete, here is a five-minute option:

1. Take three slow breaths.
2. Say, “God, I’m here, and I don’t know what to say.”
3. Read Psalm 23 slowly, or say the Lord’s Prayer one line at a time.
4. Sit quietly for a minute.
5. Say “Amen,” which simply means “so be it.”

That is enough. There are many ways to pray, and the best one is the one you will actually return to. For more quiet, practical reflections, you can come back to The Quiet Return any time.

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Sources

• Catechism of the Catholic Church, §2559 (quoting John of Damascus, De fide orthodoxa).
• The Bible: Matthew 6:5–13; Luke 11:1–4; Romans 8:26; Psalms 13, 23, 46:10, 62:8, 130, 139 (quoted text from the King James Version).
• Ignatius of Loyola, Spiritual Exercises (the Examen).
• Guigo II, The Ladder of Monks (the four stages of lectio divina).
• Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God.
• The Jesus Prayer, in Eastern Orthodox tradition (see e.g. The Philokalia).

Related reading on how to pray

• A small reflective pause in an ordinary day
• Return to a passage: note what changed in your reading